I have bird issues...specifically pigeons. I find myself daydreaming about taking aim and watching them fall off my roof as I revel in a self satisfied grin. I've even inquired about the best kind of gun to use and asked B to get me one for Mother's Day. I am a bit disturbed by my thoughts because usually I feel really sad about the death of living things (With the exception of Roxie if she ever kicks off but really I can't even bring myself to take her to the vet to have her put down). BUT not only do I not feel sad, I really want to kill them. Two in particular I think. I wrote last fall about acquiring "Hooter", who is happily mounted on my chimney and only kept these disgusting flying rats from resting in my chimney for about a month. Then one figured out he was fake, came back and sits right there next to Hooter tormenting me down the chimney into the fireplace by cooing "hahahahhahaha you thought you could fool me. I know that owl can't eat me so I'm going to sit up here and poop as much as I want all over your roof and I think I'll invite a friend to come over for some company and more poop". I tend to analyze things and try to be introspective about my thoughts and circumstances in my life. I think "Why do I feel this way? What should I learn from this?" Lelu has draw attention to the fact that I tend to do this out loud a lot and I also sort of narrate my life.... I have some theories about that too......
Sorry, I'm getting off the subject. I've been observing my neighbor's roofs and all around Draper and have discovered we are OVERRUN by these nasty things. Just look at the underpasses of the freeway. It's a freaking society of them. All of a sudden I had this epiphany: We can consider pigeons as part of our food storage and preparedness. We should all get ourselves a nice little gun, take some target practice (maybe on our own roof) and then we have a great source of protein readily available in a crisis. But how do they taste? I imagine with enough spices, probably like chicken. I'm not evil - I am receiving revelation!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment