How Did Aub Get So Old So Fast???

We rushed home from St. George on Sunday so that we could get ready for Gma's & Aub's birthday celebration. Aub missed Gma's birthday by 6 hours. She was due on Gma's birthday too. I won't say how old Gma is, but Aub is 21! What??? That just can't be possible. I'm sure she's quite happy about it, even if I'm not. We wanted to BBQ, but UT decided to snow again, so I opted for the burrito/taco bar & strawberry shortcake. It was Paige's b-day too - Happy Birthday Paige! Is it 14?? Thank heavens for birthdays and holidays or I swear life gets too busy, we'd never see anyone. I vow to do better at that. We'll really celebrate with Aub heading back to Germany this month to see The Simons. I can't wait!

Our Quick Trip to Sunshine!

This is my friend Stacy's yard in St. George. Her husband is a landscaper and it's an acre with over 200 trees. Wow! Six women from my old ward planned a trip to go down there with the kids for the weekend and without sounding too pathetic, I discussed with Cherie how much I feel like I'm in "no-man's land". All these women are young and have babies, toddlers and preschoolers. Cherie is now back in that season of life with her baby and preschooler. Where are all the women with their kids all in school that aren't grandma's yet? I think working or going to school. Anyway, Cherie passed on tidbits of our conversation to Sharon, who has her last preschooler until the fall, that I felt bad not being invited. Not true! I must defend myself. Honestly, it kind of sounded like a headache. I like the mom trips without kids. Sharon's kids are my kids ages and she thought it may be a little crowded staying at Staci's and invited us to go & get our own condo. We did and still went over and hung out at Staci's pool. 7 women & 21 kids hanging out together leaving husbands at home. I have to eat my words. It was quite fun and wasn't a headache at all for us, except for being bossed around by Ari but that goes without saying no matter where I am. Sharon and I missed out on the barfing fun in the middle of the night at Staci's house. Sorry for them! These women are all excellent moms and I came home inspired.

On Thursday, I went to Women's conference with my good friend Connie (also a fabulous mom). The weather was amazing! My favorite talk was about how much power Mom's have in setting the tone and mood in the home. Our example and leadership affects our children more than anything else. And that we have "Veto Power" and we need to use it. I like to tell my kids that B is the President and I am Congress. B tells me he wants "line item veto". Which lines? It's been an insightful week for me.

FREAKS! FRIDAY

TULIP TUESDAY!

Post Easter Egg Hunt Portrait

Do like Ari's choice of hat? How 'bout all 3 dogs inserting themselves into the photo? This year The EB counted all the eggs and knew exactly how many each kid could find to make the hunting fair. Lelu was the best hunter and helped the little kids fill their quota. Poor D was not on his game and was actually the last one to finish. They all had eggs in their Easter baskets when they woke up, but one of Ari's was empty - leading B to believe "it must be full of luck" because it couldn't mean that The EB was tired and watching BladeRunner at midnight while filling them. There was a "golden egg" hidden on the hunt with a $10 bill in it and sure enough that empty egg WAS full of luck because Ari found the golden one. They all have really darling new Easter clothes that we were running late for church and didn't have time to snap a photo. Then D came home early and went to bed. The little kids changed really quickly after church to head out to dinner before WICKED. I soothed myself not having that photo because I've scheduled our first real family photo this summer and the girls are wearing those dresses, so when I send out a REAL family picture for my Christmas card this year, you won't have already seen their dresses. I know I have issues........

I bought tickets to Wicked back in December, everything sold out in a couple hours and I could only get 5. The plan was for B & the 4 little kids to go. D was way too miserable to go (that was his worst day), and he "wanted me to be home with him" pulling on my mommy heartstrings (I've seen it twice but I would see it every year if I could!) Aub just "had other plans" What?????- so Michelle T. must have had an Easter egg full of luck because she took D's ticket and enjoyed Wicked with B, Lelu & twins! They did not snap any photos of themselves for me, even though I begged them to and handed them the camera. I still haven't got over it:(

Happy in the Initial Post Wisdom Teeth Removal!

2 weeks ago, we had D scheduled to get his wisdom teeth removed, but I failed to remind him not to eat when he left for school - I erroneously figured that I was checking him out at 11:30, he wouldn't have eaten lunch yet. Nor did I ask him, but I wouldn't let him get a drink from the drinking fountain as we came in. You might have thought he would volunteer that he'd just ate. At least he told them as they were hooking him up. His lunch is at 10:50 - I should probably know that, but I didn't. He had proper teenage humiliation and quickly texted all friends to not bring him any get well treats. The following Thursday we returned with an empty tummy. They dug out his teeth and he was feeling realllly good on the way home, calling Emilie stammering out how great and easy it was "Oh and my mom thinks I might be really embarrassed about this phone call, do you think I'll be really embarrassed, I mean you could probably ask me anything right now" I could hear a lot of giggling. He had numerous friends bring him icees, ice cream, ice cream and more ice cream. It took him a couple days to be really miserable with B's stories of "I drove myself home. I went water skiing the next day. What's wrong with you?" He did manage to make it to an audition on Saturday, belt out 16 bars of "Go the Distance" and get a main part in the next Draper Theatre Production. It's all good.

Zach, Hanna and her Entourage!

These photos go with the post below!

I should be cleaning but I'd rather be blogging!

I am hosting my ward's book club tonight, so I really should be cleaning my house because I have a busy afternoon today. I just don't feel like it. I'll do a mad rush this evening. This week is spirit week at the kids school, which just means they can wear something other than their uniforms. Monday was pajamas, Tues was favorite sports team and today is superhero or celebrity day. I think Mr. T may need therapy when he gets older. We don't have any superhero costumes and Ari is Hannah Montana. She doesn't even need the wig (sparkly shirt, big earrings). Lelu is Gwyneth Paltrow wearing a Coldplay shirt, skinny jeans and big hoop earrings. While Mr. T was in the shower, I thought, he could be Zack Efron from HS Musical. I drew Wildcats on the front of a white t-shirt and Efron on the back with basketball shorts, his hair is kind of long too. When he got out of the shower, he informed me he hates Zack Efron with tears in his eyes. But Ari really wanted him to dress up and in her cute manipulative way kind of forced him to wear it. I told him he could just wear his uniform, but when Ari wants something from him - she has her ways of getting it. It may be a twin thing. He has assured me that his friends are going to laugh at him. I hope not. I have to go over to the school for yet ANOTHER project presentation! Can I complain enough about projects? I've resorted to paying Lelu to help them. In my defense, she loves doing project posters and is always asking to earn money. Mr. T reports on a whale shark and Ari a loggerhead turtle. I just hope Mr. T is distracted enough by his report presentation to forget about the humiliation of being a 7 yr old dressed like Zack Efron. I guess he's just popular with the girls not the boys? Who knew?

Our Snow Adventure!

D must always prove his manliness or craziness or teenageness or ??????

2 winters ago we snow shooed up to our shack dragging our sleds of stuff with the twins bawling and being carried most the way. I'm no martyr and swore never again! "If you want to go up in the winter - get us snowmobiles" So B reserved some for conference weekend. He told me to pray for at least 3 new storms and we got more than that. I now say be careful what you pray for! We ventured up on Saturday with me & Mr T trying to heal from sinus infections and bronchitis. According to B, "mountain air cures everything", but I'm inclined to think antibiotics take the credit.

See the snowmobiles? The are parked out on the road. That's because, snowmobiles aren't made for 5 feet of new snow. Neither of us knew that. They should be called trailmobiles because if you aren't on a previously packed down trail - you get stuck! 4 men digging out for 15 minutes is the fun you have. So then we hiked the stuff in from the road without snowshoes (okay so D hiked the stuff in). Then the toilet pipes froze & we had to use a bucket. Fun Stuff! (There's a reason I call it a shack!)I'm sure for B and the kids it was quite an adventure. I finished another book, built a one shouldered or pregnant snowman (depending on the angle) with Ari. There was plenty of snow but not the greatest for sledding because it was deep powder. A great workout for hiking back up in. We watched Sunday conference for the last time up there with rabbit ears, since June will make it so you have to have a digital box. Was it just me or did you think the theme was "Yeah, it's hard right now. But be of good cheer because it could be worse."? Tons of sad stories!

Now we have beautiful spring weather! Popcorn is popping on all the trees. I love it!

Famous Last Words "Don't try this at home, Landon"

Sad ending to our fun weekend with the Jeff family. B & Jeff took the five little kids skiing on Monday. On the last run, Ari located a "cool jump" that she pointed out to the King of Daredevils Wyatt (they are two peas in a pod). He wiped out the first try - so B told him "he got the best wipe out of the day" but "it's time to go." He decided to try it again and headed up the lift with Landon, as he went to take the jump again he says to Landon "Don't try this at home" and from the single eye witness report he tried to do some kind of twist flip but his board stuck into the snow and his leg kept going. He has a PAINFUL spiral fracture in his right femur bone, had surgery up at Primary Children's later that night ending up with a plate in his leg that will need to come out in a year. He's a tough little guy taking it all pretty well, considering. Bummer of an ending to a great visit. Although I have no doubt, he'll be up and running quicker than you can say "Football Season".

Where's Waldo?

On Sunday we headed into Arches and let the kids run wild around the rocks while being blown to and fro with gusts of dust filling our eyes, ears, noses and cars! We had this great plan to eat a picnic but by lunch time a storm blew in and I mean BLEW in! So we just ate in the car. Not nearly as fun! Can you find Jeff, Michelle, D, Ari, Mr. T, Lelu & Landon?

A Beautiful Running Day in Moab

Lelu took 1st place for her age group again, beating her time by a minute and a half. She ran 5 miles in 40:07! B thinks she would have been faster but she was waiting for him and he was struggling to keep up. He hasn't been running as much as he used to. D finished in 39:00, limping in at the end with a hurt foot, still making a great time in 9th place for the 16 to 19 yr olds. He hardly trained at all this year starting only 2 weeks ago. Think what he could do with more training! This year the weather was perfect 75 degrees. We usually freeze, so I was thrilled with the warmth. Also we had a bunch of supporters come watch! Mom & Dad happened to be coming back from Blanding Saturday morning and timed it to come watch. Michelle T. came with us and Jeff & Christina and the boys came over from CA. It was so much fun to have them with us. We've been going down there for 5 years and this year was my favorite year. Maybe next year Jeff, Christina, Landon, Michelle and I will run?? If I can heal my foot........(plantar fascitis) I will register to run too, maybe..........

My Uplifting Views!

Not having lived here through a spring - I had no idea what is planted but I am so excited because I have crocus coming up everywhere and bunches of bulbs that I assume to be tulips because daffodils have already bloomed. It doesn't matter that we are getting 4 more inches of snow today!

When we moved I was sad that I would lose my excellent view of the Temple off my back deck - but when the lights came on I realized that I have THIS VIEW out of my living room windows and my bedroom window. Isn't it awesome?

A Second Trip to the Temple

About a month ago we went up to the open house. It was a Friday, it was packed with crowds, the kids were hungry and worried they were going to miss their sleepover party with Aunt Michelle. Needless to say, the experience was not very peaceful & it took us 3 hours.

On Friday B signed up to do security for the open house. He felt like we needed to go re-experience it, so he woke us up Saturday morning & we all got ready and went again. It wasn't nearly as crowded (yet) & the feeling was much more peaceful & unhurried. We were all so glad he suggested a return trip. A good friend of mine & her family are getting sealed there in a couple weeks, their son is leaving on a mission next month. I'm excited to witness it, esp at our new temple. (We did take a photo outside but the WIND was blowing us off the mountainside & you can see in our faces that we WERE FREEZING so I'm not posting it)

A beautiful smile is worth ?? Time & Cash?? Pain & Embarassment??

Poor Lelu had to get 5 baby teeth pulled on Friday. Last week we went to see Dr. Orthodontist who said her permanent teeth were having trouble loosening 4 on top & 1 on the bottom & were intending to go crooked. So my good friend Amy's husband is an oral surgeon & THE nicest guy to take care of my "needle/pain phobic" child. And then the toothfairy had to cough up a bloody fortune for those bloody teeth (no pun intended:). She was put on the laughing gas that according to the notes she was writing to me on the way home "Laughing gas really makes you laugh! Everything they said to me made me laugh." According to Dr. Dave, they were all laughing back there with her. Now she's laughing all the way to the bank.

Dr. Ortho also said D needed braces BACK ON for a few months. He's not very happy either. Out of sympathy for the newly dating sixteen year old- they put on clear braces, so he just looks like he has a retainer in - which ironically had he worn when he was supposed to, he would NOT have had to put the braces back on.

A blog just to blog...

I just thought the cartoon was funny................


Also while in Cancun - they finally split our ward. We went from 650 to 420 people. So far it seems so much more manageable to start to recognize faces in the crowd. We also got new callings. Team teachers for the 10-11 yr olds. My first thought is "Why do they always stick me in primary?!?" I think I've had a primary calling for at least 17 years of adulthood. I do recognize how if I hadn't moved I would still be in Young Women's - but come on - Am I just typecast?? We've taught a couple weeks now & these kids are SO MUCH smarter than us. I guess I'll stay in primary until they aren't so much smarter than us?





I went to parent/teacher conferences last week for all the kids. The kids are all doing really well. D's drama teacher says he has amazing potential. Ari helps the other kids who struggle with reading. Mr. T asks deep questions & writes about how funny he thinks his dad is. Lelu was voted onto a committe to help stop gossip & bullying. She's nice to everyone. I did however embarass her because I asked the teachers if they had any recommendations for a mystery for her to read for her book report that wasn't scary in any way. Even Nancy Drew gives nightmares and then I told them I have to turn down the TV when watching Lost, Heroes or Medium because even the music gives her nightmares. She was none too happy with me, because one of her teachers is a big tease. My kids are so different - Aub LOVED Goosebumps in the 3rd grade. I can't see Lelu loving anything like that EVER! As long as she never likes rap.....

D's First Dance! (belated post)

The dance was the night I returned from Cancun so I missed seeing D & his date and all the cute little couples dressed & ready to go. B managed to get D to the suit rental place so he could look SO DAPER & D did manage to get Emilie's corsage ordered, all without me. I'm so proud of them!

The report I got was all of these kids met up at Emilie's house for dinner - What great sports her parents were for having all these kids over & feeding them, huh?! I guess the dances themselves don't ever vary from playing a bunch of stupid rap & hip hop music. D along with his group of friends don't really appreciate that genre of music. (THANK HEAVENS) Cherie's boys also agree that the music sucks. They don't ever play Coldplay, so therefore, the music must truly suck!

Another Trip - This time to Warmer Sunny AZ

I know, I know, I know I've traveled a ton lately. B has grounded me for awhile (I like to think he just misses me) But the little kids had a week off last week, so we decided to go see our new little buddy Christian, oh and also Taylor, Dave, Michele & the AZ family. It was a very relaxing week, sleeping in everyday. Our real reason for going was to see Obama come to AZ to talk about his mortgage stimulus plan - except that he just gave one of his typical speechs & didn't really talk about it in any detail - wait - has he talked about any of the 'stimulus plan' in detail? (I didn't really see him, I just read in their paper) Sorry, I'm losing my train of thought and getting sick to my stomach.......

We went hiking in the beautiful superstition area. It was surprisingly green. We just missed a rattle snake & a couple of scorpions on the trail. We might have had to carry Lelu out if she'd known (she was behind us with Taylor & didn't hear about it until after the hike). It was fun to see Mark & Liselotte, Simone, Cutie Hayden and darling Easton. We saw Jakob and also Justin who is looking very grown up and the spitting image of Jonathon. We got some visiting time in with Peg & Jen, as well as a nail biter of a movie "Taken". I finally caught up with Brecklyn & Dalton, having missed them up here. He looks as if he's inherited the height gene! He's a tall baby. We took a fun trip to the zoo. I hadn't been to the Phoenx zoo since Aub was a baby, so I took a little walk down memory lane & then drove the kids past my 'Tempe walk down memory lane'.............. I remembered the walk to school being pretty far - it was like 5 houses and Staci Howard's (my bff) house was miles away - it was like another 6 houses. The kids just thought it was pretty boring.

We also discovered AZ is the place to find & buy a subaru. Aub flew down & picked up "Helga" - an awesome find - on Saturday and drove her back up here on Monday. I named her Helga because I bought her from Bjorn, who's from Sweden. I don't even know if Helga is a swedish name or not? I'm now looking forward to seeing Febuary go and March maybe bringing us some spring. 5 days went by really fast.

Lelu & Ari went into their typical depression, tears & all, having to part from their beloved Aunt Michele. I did get the fun of Taylor wanting to ride in "Ant Kistin's car" every time we went anywhere. Thanks so much Dave & Shel for hosting us, we had a great time.

Girls Trip 2009 Cancun

Why do I live here? That's what I'm asking myself everyday I've been back! It's been raining or snowing and everything is dead and there isn't a single color around Utah right now that's pretty to look at.

Look at that water & sky! It was a feast for the eyes and spirit. Some of the highlights this year: taking a ferry over to Isla Mujeres and renting scooters to ride around; late night solving the world's problems, well at least trying to solve each others; tons of laughing; great food (cheap & excellent sushi); plenty of beach time where the sand is like powdered sugar; in room karaoke and 80's dancing. A lot of gratitude to our husbands for supporting us in going on these trips.

For me only: I got upgraded to first class on our return trip! Just for buying an item for a rushed flight attendant who couldn't wait in the unbelievably long line to buy. When I gave her the item on the plane, she asked if she could do anything for me and so I asked if she could switch me to an aisle seat if there was one open. I was in a window seat and I hate the window seat because I make numerous trips to the bathroom due to my 'anxious flying' tummy. She came back and got me and told me it was for my good karma that I was so willing to help her out. I think I got the better end of the deal! With a little guilt that my friends were all back in coach wondering where I'd gone. None of us were sitting together. I'm always glad to be home, missing B & the kids, but it sure is cold and ugly.

A Quick Health Update & Useless Info to Everyone Except Us

After talking with Drew, B decided to go back & have his cholesterol tested again after fasting. It came back one hundred points lower than the week before:) Although he's not sure if it's all due to fasting or taking the meds for a week or eating perfectly or a combination of the three. Cherie gave him a low cholesterol cookbook as a joke, but it came in very handy to me. I cooked out of it all week. We're waiting to hear what the Dr. thinks about whether to discontinue meds or if the meds work that fast or what. The kids are not too happy with the new menu and Mr. T asked if we were going to have to eat like that FOREVER? B says "Yes, if you want me to live a long time".

This blog is the only journal I've ever kept up on - so I need to record a few things here that we don't want to forget. Taylors are notorious nicknamers and we don't want to forget them, so I'm going to write them down on here.

Aub - Aubi cadabi; stinky sweetie (when she was a toddler)
D - Cadwalader; Dr. Doolittle; Olaf; Master D; Prince Fahad;The Great D Alexander The Great
Ay - Lelu; Tutalewski; Aydie
Ari - Pinky Blondie; Sassy Sue; Peanut; Toot-a-matic; Choo Choo; Scandihoovian or Scanda; Barnacle
Mr. T - Too Tall TT two tone; buddy; scarecrow; noodle boy; Oscar the grinch;

Lelu has her own little language of characters names; Fiffergoblin (could be feathers blowing across the ground or rustling leaves); Bumstoop; LionMore Weirdwig; one-eyed crockernickle; Lemperkin;

The Red Head is On the Roads...

I now have a 3rd driver! I've already sent him to the grocery store for me and to pick up the kids from school. The errands he can run for me are endless.......

But the birthday was about him so I better tell you all about how it was. The kids didn't have school on his birthday, but he got up early (even though he wasn't 16 yet, not until 3:45 pm) and went on his first date to Ihop, thanks Gma & Gpa for the $$ to pay for his date! She drove though.

He has been asking for about 2 years what kind of party he can have for his 16th birthday and I haven't been answering him. I am all too aware of how parties in high school can get overcrowded really quick with the ease of texting and was having nightmares about multitudes of teenagers showing up. SO we decided he and 9 of his closest friends would be picked up by a limo and taken ice skating & out to eat- returning for cake & ice cream. A few more showed up after they got back and they had a great time playing murder in the dark and scaring the girls to death. I listened to screams, music and noise until 11:45 pm when I called it quits. They all had a great time and thought their chaffeur was soo cool. We have no broken furniture and the kids are all really great kids he hangs out with. AND now I have a 3rd driver as we went to the DMV the very next day and got his license. It was a good week.

It sucks to get old!

Happy Birthday to Big B. Just in case turning 46 wasn't bad enough, he got the news from his doctor that his cholesterol is high enough to be on a prescription. He claims everything is downhill now that he has to take a prescription. Those darn genetics. He does everything right to have good heart health. He was so bummed out all he wanted for his birthday was tomato soup & spinach salad. Which I did make for him. I asked him what kind of cake he wanted and he said "whole wheat with no fat or sugar and frosted with wheat germ". Mmmmmm, while that sounds absolutely delicious, I thought we might as well live on the edge if we are just dying anyway. So he got ooey gooey yummy chocolate cake with ice cream.

We did go out to eat last night with some good friends. I found a list of the 10 best restaurants in Salt Lake and have decided we'll try a new one every month. This one was a sushi restaurant (that had an 1 1/2 hour wait), which in case you were wondering is VERY LOW in cholesterol. I've also decided that I really like sushi when I don't know what's in it. Ignorance is Bliss! Another New Year's change, is we are not eating fast food anymore (unless we are on vacation). That should help his health AND it helps us keep our sabbath day Holier since fast food seemed to always be on the menu for Sunday lunch. I even made that decision before the Cholesterol news, I guess I was inspired. (Really, I was just sick of it!)

He gets asked to his first dance!

I think I was as excited as he was, maybe even more. Emilie called me and asked if she could come decorate his room to ask him to go to Sweetheart dance Feb 7th. I let them in with D's bed looking like he slept in it which is basically like a tornado hitting. They covered his walls with stars and his floor with starbursts (which just so happens to be the twins favorite candy). We brainstormed ideas to answer her and came up with filling her car up with the same stars and some of the starbursts all with "yes" written on them. Her mom helped D get into her car in the garage (she's a few months older). Lelu had a great time helping him write all those yes's. The twins teeth have now rotted out of their mouth and are wearing dentures due to the remaining starbursts.;)

I think this is such a fun time for him being able to actually go on dates and drive.He has such a great group of friends to hang out with too.

Baptism of Barton Wyatt

Papa John and some of his crew. 4 of the kids and 9 of the grandkids. Wyatt's baptism didn't disappoint in reminding us of the basic principles of our beliefs. He was so excited and eager to listen to Big B & his other papa John give their talks. B did an awesome job especially since that is not in his comfort zone. It was worth the effort to be down there for this special occasion. I was impressed to see how many people came out to support his day. The whole relief society room was filled up just for him. This got the twins quite excited about their baptisms this year. D will be old enough to baptize one of them. He pointed that out to us and asked if he could baptize Mr. T. It was a very special day to spend with the ones we love.

Our Many Adventures in California!

Brett & Helen hosted us all for dinner Saturday night. The kids were having the time of their lives frightening everyone with a "scary video" on D's ipod. It was nice to visit & catch up with the Taylors. We just don't get to CA as a family as much anymore.

We went to the Hollywood walk of fame. (I'd never been there before) There are all kinds of people dressed as characters around. We saw "Marley & Me" in Mann's Chinese theatre. In pure Hollywood form, there was an altercation between a woman in the theatre with a man that decided to go ahead and take a cell phone call - in his totally normal voice. He got thrown out, but not without swearing (quite femmy too) walking back & forth in the aisle behind us. Lelu is cured from wanting to live in CA.

My little shell obsessed blondie.

Mr. T was the only one who braved getting himself wet and very sandy! It was quite chilly there on the beach. Lelu barely touched the water.

This is always our tradition straight from the airport. Mmmmmm, B has been eating here since the first year we were married. It was in his sales territory.

It's NOT spelled with a Y! Silly D.....

Even though this was Christmas eve 2008. I had to write about it because I found it so funny. This is D's cute "friend" who made a CD for him and brought it over to him for a Christmas gift. She even wrote and sang a couple of her own songs - She is quite talented and just so darn cute! Anyway, D came up with making this plaquard for her in her favorite colors - with music - laughter - friendship (she's always giggling and has the nicest friends too). So I printed it out with my vinyl machine (D painted the board). I put the words onto the board as D critiqued that I had torn a corner of the M. He wrapped it and then we went and delivered it. She acted very excited and told D she "just loved it". The next morning I'm out doing last minute errands and I get this frantic call from him "MOM, WE SPELLED HER NAME WRONG!" And he knew how to spell it, it's spelled correctly in his cell phone. Somehow he missed it - and she didn't say anything and wasn't planning to say anything. And then he dreamed about it being wrong. Needless to say - her parents also got quite a laugh out of it and took photos and videotaped his explanation too. He'd also called Emilie frantic "I misspelled your name! I am so sorry!" (I hadn't asked him how to spell it, but when I showed him the words he didn't say anything.... that's my disclaimer.)